8 Ways to Spice Up Your Relationship or Marriage after Kids
Having a baby is an exciting period that turns your life upside down. The arrival of a baby means that you put everything else on hold or become less important. Some of the things that are neglected with a new baby’s arrival include having long showers, sex, socializing, and work.
Although no one intends to hold these activities for a long, a short time can become a long time, especially if more kids come along fast. With several kids to take care of, you may give less priority to your relationship. How then do you rekindle the passion you once enjoyed with your spouse? Your marriage should not suffer because of children, and in fact, it should get better.
Read More »1. Prioritize Date Nights
Going on dates is what made you fall in love initially; therefore, you should keep dating if you want to keep the fire burning. Date nights do not have to be in a posh restaurant, and you can do it home. It can be just laughing and talking over a shared candy bar or sandwich without waking the baby. All you have to do is set aside a specific time each week for both of you to reconnect. Do not mistake family nights for date nights. You should have your time as husband and wife and not as mom and dad. It’s hard to get the time for date nights, especially with kids at home, but you will create the time if you are committed to your relationship. On the other hand, if you don’t see the importance of date nights, you will always find an excuse not to have one.
2. Put Your Spouse First
Another good way to spruce up your marriage is to put your spouse’s needs above your own. This might not be easy to do, especially if you like to be the center of attention. Therefore, you need to come out of your comfort zone to accommodate and please your spouse. Think about what your partner needs, desires, wants, and likes, and surprise them with something to brighten their day and draw you closer to them. You can wear the sexy lingerie that your husband loves so much. A husband can gift the wife with a bouquet or prepare their favorite food with wine, dessert, candles, and a sexy card or note. Such sexy and romantic gestures will reignite the spark in your relationship.
3. Public Display of Affection
It’s almost sure that you always had your hands all over each other when you were dating. There was probably holding hands, cuddling, and sneaking kisses. Where did all the affection go? All these gestures can be tricky to implement after children come along. It isn’t easy to cuddle up while holding a baby or with a toddler crawling all over you. It’s, however, essential to be intentional to maintain the closeness in your relationship. Physical touch should happen regularly, outside the bedroom. Give your spouse a little love tap when you pass each other in the hallway or hold hands while driving in the car. Do not be afraid of displaying your affection in front of your kids. It is okay to dance, cuddle and kiss in front of the kids. It is suitable for your children to see what a good marriage looks like. Your children should know that mom and dad love each other.
4. Flirting
Yes, it would be best if you flirted with your spouse. Flirting can rekindle your marriage after having children. It can be subtle and sexy without the children catching up on it. It is an excellent way to tell your better half that they still rock your world. So, let your spouse know that you love and appreciate them flirting with them. Compliment them on their humor, charm, wit, intelligence, body shape, outfit, weight loss, or a new hairstyle. In short, massage your spouse’s ego. Flirting will reignite the spark in your union when you make your spouse feel special. When in a serious or formal environment together, whisper I love you and wink at your spouse, or complement your husband’s physique when he steps out of the shower. They will welcome the praise, which will bring you closer to each other.
5. Do Not Compete Against Each Other
There is no need to measure who is doing more work or who is having it more challenging. It is hard being either mom or dad; all you need to do is play in the same team. If one wins, you both win, and if one loses, you both lose. Rather than compare and complain, work together to encourage, compliment, and support each other. Your partner’s biggest cheerleader and fan should be you, do not be their competitor or rival. So, stop keeping track and get rid of the scoreboard. You should instead complete one another and not compete with one another. Make the time to share your dreams and hopes. You can create a bucket list to include things you can achieve quickly and those that will take time to do. Add to your bucket list and check off what you’ve accomplished, and you’ll realize that the activities will improve your relationship.
6. Cook Together
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Cooking together is another great way to spice up your relationship. Cooking together enables you to work on your problem-solving skills, communication, and collaboration. Being together in the kitchen also lets you catch up on the day’s activities. Furthermore, you can talk about your desires, wants, fears, friends, relatives, job, and children while cooking. Use this time to learn more about your partner.
7. Be His Lover, Not His Mom
You are your children’s mom and not your husband’s. Try not to mother or nag your spouse. Some women complain about their husbands acting like their children; if you want your husband to behave like a man, treat him like the man he is. Show him respect and love and never talk about him or down to him. Remember that it goes both ways, as you wouldn’t want your husband acting like your father. If you want your husband to treat you like a queen, start by treating him like a king, and vice versa. You will indeed have an unfulfilling marriage if you constantly nag your spouse with disapproval.
8. Commit to Physical Intimacy
Making love is one of the ways to stay in love. But, it is more than just having sex. Enjoy the moment you share physical intimacy with your spouse, and do not treat making love like it’s work. Intimacy is the glue that keeps a marriage together, as it has several other benefits besides strengthening your marital bond and connection. Having regular sex helps you gain more confidence, relieve stress, reduce wrinkles, help you look younger, and weigh less.
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With kids in the picture, you are probably always exhausted and tired. But, intimacy is essential for your marriage; hence you should make time and put in the effort to have and enjoy it.
In conclusion, when a baby arrives, women are the ones who get overwhelmed more. Although it is essential to look after your family, do not forget to look after yourself. Do things that made you happy before the baby. Improving your emotional well-being will positively impact the entire family. Therefore, go for that yoga class, sit in the library, go out with your girlfriends, or go for a spa treatment.
